I've been waking up ridiculously early lately, which is funny because when I
had an actual reason to get up early (i.e. a DAY JOB) I couldn't do it to save
my life... and we're talking about a job which started at 10a, folks... I feel
your need to beat me mercilessly... truly strange...
...anyway, I was awake at 8:30a... ugh... man am I hung over...
See, after our usual lunch Wednesday afternoon Toast (from Martyrs') came back
to my place and we proceeded to put away a Herculean amount of Harp while
playing video games until our brains leaked out of our ears... later joined by
John, Nej, and Beau... I have no idea what drove me to get that drunk...
...oh yeah... it's 'cause I'm a big dumb animal...
So Nej and Beau stayed over that night for easier collection by the Touring
Vessel, and when I got up I realized I had absolutely nothing to offer my
guests for breakfast... Waddaya do? Ya go to the store...
Eggs, toast (the bread kind this time), milk and juice... when I got back Beau
and Nej were still asleep so I washed a few dishes loudly, trying in vain to
rouse them...
Side Note Here: "Tour Casualties" (people who have followed bands on the road
extensively) can be a pain in the ass to wake up, as they've trained
themselves to sleep through just about anything, SITTING UP IN A STICKER-
COVERED COMPACT CAR WITH BLARING MUSIC TO KEEP THE DRIVER AWAKE mind you...
anything ranging from the casual elbow to the ribs to the car sliding off the
road and into the ditch... I love a challenge, but not today... they finally
got up just as I was loading my "Motorhead - No Sleep 'Til Hammersmith" CD...
the live version of 'Ace of Spades' has been known to sterilize rhinos in near
by zoos across the world...
After breakfast Beau and I watched "Jerry Springer" and we waited for Scott...
we finally got on the road around 12:15p... the sky had seen fit to dump more
snow on us making the day a blinding experience of hung-over pain... when the
sun finally went behind some clouds the knitting needles were finally removed
from my eyes, but the damage was done...
The ride to Ames doesn't help, as it is one of the most dull stretches of road
we travel... and what's scary is that you start recognizing feed silos as
familiar sights and even to take comfort in their sighting...
" 'Miller Quality Livestock Feed Co.'... cool... 'Breckerman Farm Equipment
Co.' should be comin' up in about 10 minutes..."
"I thought that silo was green, not blue..."
"They need to repaint it anyway..."
This sort of thinking is directly linked to the creation of the phrase "Just
Shoot Me", you know...
Even the Radio Game is boring to play out here (see past Rashes for a full
description of this great DSO pastime), because it's easy to guess the artist
when Foreigner and REO Speedwagon is all that gets played...
Side Note To My Iowan Friends: Don't write threatening to whip my ass with
your chain wallets... the truth hurts... it doesn't mean I don't love you but
your radio, much like everyone else's (including ours in Chicago) has a bad
case of cranial rectosis...
...and no, it wouldn't help if they played the Dead all the time... we have
Scott for that...
We got to People's Bar & Grill around 6:30p... perfect timing as the house
tech T-Ray doesn't get in until 7p... we loaded in, made a few jokes about
Maraat and Sprout getting lost (a common practice which at times can even be
endearing), and we ordered some food...
... 7p came and went...
... 7:30p...
... 8p...
...OK, this is ridiculous...
The bar called the engineer and told us he'd be there "soon"... and it wasn't
T-Ray... summoning images of the blinding snow-glare earlier, my headache
resumed right where it had left off...
Kent finally walked in the door around 8:30p and by 9:20p the stage was
finally pinned... not exactly a land-speed record... so I did sound check much
faster than I wanted to for a room half-full of people...
The biggest problem with mixing People's is that the position of the console
in relation to the PA is "less than optimum"... you can hear the compressors
for the ice machine better than you can hear what's actually happening in the
room, so walking out into the room is a necessity, and not easily accomplished
with people milling about... after some small problems with Maraat's rig the
band did a limp version of "Let The Good Times Roll", with Scott explaining to
the crowd that this was only sound check... the one saving grace was that Kent
was pretty much right on the money with the monitors or we'd have been
screwed...
The band played really well that night... the show was 12/11/92 and as usual
Scott had selected well given the "Vince Constraint" (stage space often
figures in on the show to be performed... although upon further reflection
Scott thinks a "Brent" show might work, the main sticking point being the B3
organ... see Colorado Rashes for the reasoning behind his change of heart)...
It opened with "Cold Rain & Snow" which seemed appropriate... Note To Self:
Wonder if'n we'll run out of "CR&S" shows before the Midwest melts? "Wang Dang
Doodle" was nice, and a slinky "Althea"... but the "Deal" was genuinely
uplifting, setting the crowd off before Mike announced a "short break"...
There were a bunch of people in the house tonight (which, by the door count,
had happened before), but tonight the crowd seemed to be there for the show
rather than the drink specials... it was nice to finally settle into Ames...
The second set opened with "Aiko"... sort of slow and thin, building to a
"Move Your Feet Or Die" insistence... Scott cut loose with a keyboard solo
which might have had just a hair more teeth than Vince circa '92 (Vince If You
Read This: Sound engineers can kill a keyboard so tapes might not do you
justice - it's only my opinion and I liked "Long Way To Go Home" too... it's
all Bralove's fault and those backstabbin' Healy an' Cutler guys, but who's
counting)... and the "Eyes" allowed John to do the same... (John will argue
this point with me endlessly saying "...Garcia was actively seeking out
anything BUT 'signature licks' in his later years"... I don't buy it), but I
still agree with one reporter's assessment of his playing... "...(John) whips
off solos that Garcia was incapable of after 1991..."
"Corrina" was as good and true as ever and another song I differ with old
'heads about, I like it... leading to "Drumz/ Space" out of which blossomed a
"Wheel" and the next in a steady line of performances (lately) of "Stella
Blue" (which was decent but not the best I've heard... again, John gives good
"Stella")... after "Sugar Magnolia" and "U.S. Blues" the band was forced to
quit before the elective due to time limitations, and in my humble opinion the
crowd deserved one...
When we got done loading up it was like pulling teeth to get a beer after
hours, which in retrospect was a good thing... I fell asleep immediately when
the drive started and awakened to a thick grey blanket over the windshield of
the touring Vessel...
...trouble is we were still doing 70 mph...
"WwwwwwWWWWooooooAAAAAaaaoooohhhhhhMAN SLOW DOWN!!! I can't see SH*T!!!"
As I like to say folks, I couldn't make this up... we were driving through fog
so thick you couldn't see literally three feet in front of the hood... in
thirty-two years I've never seen the like... I was scared to death but Scott
eased my mind:
"Dude, think about it... if something looms up out of the fog like say, a
stalled car... we're dead anyway... might as well hit it HARD..."
... the funny thing is after awhile, the speed and the lack of visibility and
the sense of violent collision and impending doom ceased to have any effect on
me, and I accepted it without reproach...
... by the way, I blame the cartoons I watched as a child for desensitizing me
towards violence... and watching "Springer" dulled me to going along with
idiotic things...
Note To Guys Out There: If your girlfriend/ wife wants to go on "Springer"
with you...
...JUST SAY NO...
...but if'n your BANDMATE wants to travel at dangerous speeds through fog
thicker than the proverbial 'Pea Soup' and he happens to be one SCOTT LARNED,
give him a shot...
To be honest, this was a supremely unreal situation and Scott got us through
it in colors... turns out Ahmer and John almost ran out of gas because they
couldn't read the signs to find a gas station (YES, it was THAT thick), but in
the end everyone made it to our usual Motel 6 (I wonder when they're going to
offer us an endorsement for all these mentions?) in Iowa City...
When we pulled up, Ahmer and John were standing outside one of the rooms,
furiously wrestling with the key... turns out it didn't work... some
surprise...
Scott got the key problem taken care of and Nej, Me, Beau, and Scott settled
in for the night... IN A ROOM THE HEATER HADN'T GRACED IN WEEKS... you could
see your breath, so Scott turned the heater on 'HI' and we all settled in...
in our clothes... like ALL our clothes, anything we had... for the night...
COMING SOON: All Motel 6 Phones Ring The Same, Fog & Loathing in Iowa, and
Should Bacon Be Green? Stick around... Milwaukee is next!