As it is about an eight hour drive from Chicago to Minneapolis we decided to
leave right after our Tuesday show at Martyrs'... the plan being to get up
there, get our rooms, sleep a few hours and hit the club...
Here we go again...
The riding assignments are made, with John and I riding in the Sproutmobile
with Sprout and Maraat, the rest of the band and crew in the Hazdra Cruiser...
I'll just climb in back and curl up... maybe get a few winks to pass the
time... how bad could it be?
OK, where do I begin? (You KNEW this is where I was headed with a bold
statement like that, don't act so surprised...)
Rule of the Road dictates (generally, unless in Scott's company) that the
driver gets to pick the music... normally there's no problem...
... but it's been a long time since I've driven with Sprout... and come to
think of it she wasn't a valid driver at that point...
She likes her heavy metal while driving, you see...
Disclaimer To Prevent My Demise Beginning At Shin Level: You know I love you
Sprout, but I gotta relate this as honestly as possible... my readers demand
it...
We got into the Sproutmobile and there were a few loose ends to tie up...
first, we had to drop John's car at Sprout's apartment, then go get Maraat
from his place (dropping off his car as well) and THEN we could hit the
road... simple, right?
... you know us too well...
With John and I in the van, we took off for Sprout's place, not realizing that
Maraat's hip pack was in the van... with his car keys in it... and he was
still at Martyrs'... so when we got to Sprout's place there was a message from
Maraat explaining the screw-up... he got a ride from the other members to his
place, but his car was gonna have to sit on Lincoln Ave. until we got back (a
parking ticket gauntlet)...
We collected Mike, and on the way there we were listening to Joan Baez with
the Dead, which is kind of like putting ketsup on your Captain Crunch if you
ask me... but infinitely more desirable than what was to come...
... King Diamond... Metallica (Master of Puppets, of course), and a double
live Iron Maiden CD...
... at around 5a, people... and pretty much solid from Chicago to
Minneapolis...
"Six! Six Six! The Number Of The Beast! Hell! And Fire! Were Born To Be
Released!!!"
... oh yeah... sleepy slumber, comin' RIGHT UP...
But bless her little heart, she got us there... never mind that I had to relive
my antisocial high school years...
As we got further north, we saw more snow on the ground... wonderful...
"I have gotten used to not seeing it..." I mused.
"I'm trying not to jinx the situation..." John said, "It'll just bring it back if I start
thinking that way..."
... how right he would be...
The ride is casual, pretty uneventful... but the countryside gets neat as you
get closer to Minneapolis... rock formations, etc. are more interesting than
grain silos, at least (see any Ames, IO RRP for further description of
these)...
We crossed through St. Paul around 9:30a, and found the hotel with very little
difficulty... now all we had to do was get our rooms and we could get some
sleep... that is provided Motorhead wasn't being pumped into our room...
John got out of the van and went in to the desk to get our keys and was gone
for a very long time...
When he came back, I could tell by the look on his face that the mission was
not accomplished...
"Man, this guy is all wound up..." he said, shaking his head.
Turns out that the rooms are indeed reserved, but that there was an oversight
made and they were requiring an additional deposit of $25 per room for
"incidentals"... room service, phone calls, etc. and they needed a credit card
number... Sprout took over...
"Do you have Mr. Larned's card number?"
"Well, yes we do..."
"Can you put it on that?"
"Well, that's not procedure, miss..."
"But can you do it?"
"We don't usually..."
"But you CAN, right?"
"But miss..."
"Can you or CAN'T you?"
"The problem is that that's not our policy to..."
"But you CAN do that, right?"
(At this point the guy was getting extremely touchy and was headed for a good
fainting spell)
"It's not our POLICY but..."
"Then just DO IT, will ya? We've been on the road for eight hours or so and
we'd like to get some sleep before the show tonight..."
"So you want me to put it on Mr. Larned's card..."
"YES! YES! A Thousand &*$^%@ TIMES, YES!!!"
After getting our keys we parked the van and tried to figure out how to get to
our rooms... the elevator only went to four floors, and our rooms were 1412 or
some such... quickly applying my engineer's brain (which I stole from the
medical studies building in college), I deduced we were in the wrong
elevator...
... such a clever boy...
When we got to the room, John and I settled in and I hit the tube... but it
was John that sounded the voice of reason at 10:15a...
"I could use a drink."
He looked at me, and the smile of a willing conspirator must have snuck out
from under my calm facade, because he was on the phone to the front desk in a
shot...
"What time does your hotel bar open?" he asked...
If the front desk was worried before, they were probably in full-panic
now...
He hung up the phone and reported that the bar would be open at 10:30a...
perfect... that gives us just enough time to freshen up and get down to the
lobby...
At 10:29:58 we were in the lobby and furiously searching for the watering
hole... which we eventually stumbled on with some guidance and to our dismay
didn't open until 11a... so much for that drink... so we played a round of
some video game instead and returned to our room... hungry...
"Room Service?" John asked...
"Why not... they have our deposit, right?" I answered.
We ordered a couple of breakfast trays to be sent up and flopped down on the
beds to bask in the cathode rays of the tube... "Hogan's Heroes", I believe...
or was it "Gilligan's Island"? Eh, you get the idea... glamorous, no?
We received our orders in record time from a beautiful Room Service attendant
(Note To Self: I like this Minneapolis place)... she seemed a bit nervous and
I don't blame her, what with our bleary-eyed scruffiness... and we devoured
everything on our plates with the exception of the fruit garnish, which looked
like it had seen better days... LAST YEAR...
Sleep was quick to come after eating, and we pulled the shades against the
overcast light...
*Beep*-*Beep*-*Beep*-*Beep*-*Beep*-*Beep*-*Beep*-*Beep*-*Beep*-*Beep*-*Beep*
The alarm was going off... and my first thought was that I was going to call
the studio and tell them I wasn't coming in today...
Wait...
This isn't my room... I don't recall locking the television to the desk...
... and what's this? Gideons? Where AM I?
We slowly got our heads together... I hate "nap hangover", don't you? And we
headed down to the lobby to wait for Sprout and Maraat, and locate a hardware
store so that John can secure a new fuse for his amp, said fuse getting blown
the previous night at Martyrs' from water dripping on it due to condensation
over the stage...
You know it's not good when you ask the hotel folks where we can find a
hardware store and they start snickering as they tell you "wow... um... THAT'S
a good question..."
The Door Captain began calling through the phone book for us but it didn't
look good... all the while we're waiting for the Wonder Twins (Mike and
Sprout)...
They finally turned up and we got directions to the Cabooze...
"... you can't miss it..."
What did we do, crimestoppers?
Yep. SEVERAL times...
Governor Jesse Ventura (bless you voters up there... I love Jesse, man)
recently got into a bunch of hot water for a statement he made about the
street layout of Minneapolis/ St. Paul... saying it appeared to be "designed
by a drunken Irishman..."
Well... race, creed, or color aside... the sonofabitch MUST have been drunk...
there're more flips and twists to the streets than an Agatha Christie novel
and twice as difficult to get straight...
We found the place eventually and pulled around to the load-in... the rest of
the band was already moving equipment in... and I grabbed my mics and headed
in to poke around...
The room reminds me of a much bigger version of a now-defunct Chicago club
called Biddy Mulligan's... sort of a long room with a large oval bar in the
center and a nice sized stage, and to the right as you look at the stage
there's a balcony for further seating... all told the capacity is held to a
tidy one thousand people even though capacity is twelve hundred...
We met up with Jason, the house tech whom I'd met before and had some
correspondence with after working with The Big Wu (on August 8th 1997, as my
friend Paul Hagen informed me later that night)... he's a talented dude and I
was looking forward to working with him in "his house"...
We worked out the input list and stage plot, and I went to take a look at
where I was to mix the band from...
... a loft space in just about the worst place for hearing the PA correctly...
oh well... like I've never had to deal with this sort of thing before, right?
"Hope yer StairMaster skills are in order... you're gonna be climbing a bunch
tonight..." he said in a rather dry tone... Jason is the sort of seasoned
engineer that you can tell has been around the block and will continue to be,
just by the way he jokes...
The outboard gear was all in good order so I left my racks on the truck, and
I'm familiar with the console so there was a minimum of irritating questions
for Jason, which I think he appreciated... and once he sort of got set up,
John went in search of a fuse...
... he was gone a looooooooong time, too...
After set-up, most of the band took off to get some grub while Jason and I got
the system straightened out and tweaked the monitors, replacing boxes and
moving things at least two times before we were satisfied due to some blown
drivers, etc. brought on by a huge horn band Jason has to deal with on a
regular basis... like I said, the guy's a saint...
John came back, put a new fuse in his amp, turned it on... and *PPPPFFVVVVVT!*
... no I won't, it said... so we asked Jason if he had anything around we
could use... turns out one of the Wu's guitar players had an amp in the back
room which we hurriedly fitted to John's rig... problem solved...
Which is why I keep bringing them up... like this...
"Buy The Big Wu's new CD, due out in stores any day now!"
A few more shameless plugs and I figger we're even...
Anyway, by sound check we were running late (su-PRIZE!) so we let a few early
birds in for the check, "Black Muddy River"... and true to his word, my
buttocks are tight from all the up-down-up-down to make sure it sounded good
on the floor... from where I was sitting though, the vocals (everything,
really) sounded muffled... but on the floor it was crisp... too crisp to begin
with... and the bass was floppy but sounded dramatically different on the
floor... you get the idea...
That done, we retired to the band room to relax, and I ate my cold dinner...
Paul Hagen (of The Big Wu family) came back to say hello and welcome and we
passed the time joking and telling stories... I really like this guy and if
you're at a Wu show take a minute to say hello to him... he's the mayor of
TapeTown and rather easy to identify... he kind of reminds me of our own
resident madman Bob from Mr. Blotto here in Chicago...
Anyway, the show that night was 6/17/88, a Brent show which I thought was a
perfect choice, never mind that the original was performed here in Bloomington,
Minnesota...
The opener "Bucket" established the energy level of the night as "take no
prisoners" and it just went like that... "Sugaree" was swing-city with some
fire in the dynamics that got the crowd swaying and before too long the whole
place was moving, over four hundred strong on this Wed. night change from the
usual Big Wu show (they do the same sort of weekly show at the Cabooze as we
do at Martyrs'... "Check out the Big Wu's website at indiesonic.com!")... "Far
>From Me" saw Scott possessed... this was one of the most spirited versions
I've ever heard Scott deliver with scat singing and everything and I love the
way John nails the guitar tone when they do this song... "Althea" was another
crowd favorite and the set closer "Victim or the Crime" was great, although
this being the show where the Dead broke the song out the boys had to restrain
themselves for the ending jam...
Paul came up and gave the band's performance and my handling of the room a
gushing review saying that he had been at the original show and that we had
captured it down to the last detail, which was as much ringing endorsement as
I needed to relax a little, and we hit the band room for a break...
We had just gotten in and settled when one of the guys came in saying "Hey
Scott... your brother is here, man..."
We all looked up at this older guy walking in to the band room and the look on
Scott's face was priceless...
"I don't know who you are... you're not related to me... and...um...you have
to leave."
This guy was obviously confused as well, and began stammering "... yeah...
you're right... you're NOT my brother..." and he looked so sheepish I could
tell this was not a man perpetrating a scam of any kind... he genuinely
thought he was being led to see his brother...
... the keyboard player for The Big Wu...
"AAAAaaahhhhhhh... OK... I see," Scott said, lightening up immediately...
"don't sweat it, man..."
The guy made a few apologies and turned to leave... I felt bad for him... he
looked like he had just told a racist joke at an NAACP meeting...
We're not The Big Wu.
Second set rolled around with a nice "China>Rider", "Estimated>Eyes" got the
dancing to a frenzy and in the post "Drumz/Space" the standout was definitely
"Black Peter", eliciting a cheer after each pertinent line...
After the encore of "Black Muddy River" Mike addressed the crowd briefly and
then it was the elective, a surprise "Greatest Story" to bring down the
house...
We had a great time after the show talking with some folks as we packed up,
one of which approached Maraat...
"HEEeeeeeeeyyy Maaan!!! Remember ME?" this guy asked, smiling...
"Mmmm-nnnnnoooo...."
"Aw, C'MON, maaaaan... sure ya do..."
"I really don-"
"Don't pull that, dude... re-MEMBER???"
"... look, I really-"
"Bullshit, maaaaan... I've seen you here TONS of times..."
"Well, that would explain a lot... see, I'm from Chicago and I've never been
here before..."
"You mean this isn't The Big Wu?"
No. We're not The Big Wu.
After Beau made sure all was well with the equipment we decided to go to a
late night Mexican restaurant Jason knew of and celebrate with a few tacos...
and then it was back to the hotel to get a few hours of sleep before getting
on the road for home...
... with a quick cathode-induced trip to "Gilligan's Island" first, of
course...
When we woke up the next day, the sky was purple with clouds and the view out
our window showed salt trucks liberally dumping up and down the highway... the
TV was on...
"... for watching NewsCenter 4, I'm Dicky Dickerson... now here's Brad with
the weather... Brad?"
"Thanks, Dicky... well, that rain we got this morning has now FROZEN to a
slick covering on the roads if I may demonstrate... (idiot in a parka takes a
few running steps and slides across a lane of traffic)... making travel
difficult..."
Lovely.
"... expecting accumulations of up to four inches or more making this one of
the worst storms this year..."
Double Lovely. Let's get the Hell out of here, FAST...
The Hazdra Cruiser had left about an hour earlier than we did as it has to
travel slower with the trailer, but as I heard it, they got socked in too...
The snow fell fast and furious and in no time we were in some of the worst
road conditions I'd seen since New Year's Day in Chicago... we switched
drivers at a truck stop, Maraat taking over... and actually, stopping for
lunch allowed some trucks to get out and clear the roads a bit, but we still
saw about four decent spin-outs into the ditch because the snow turned to
freezing rain... for instance one had obviously just happened and this 4x4 had
slid sideways, rolled, and fallen into the ditch with what looked to be a
person that had been thrown from the vehicle, a trucker running to their aid
and a trooper pulling off right behind us... this one visibly upset Sprout,
who had been driving not an hour before...
I was never so glad to get home as I was that night, but not before we went to
Martyrs' and got that drink John and I were looking for...
"... then again some things just got to get done" indeed...