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Dateline: Garton's Saloon, Vail, CO, 3/20/99; Show 138

The next day Scott, Beau, Corso, and I went to Lion's Head for a swim, a 
soak, and such... and when we got to the pool after the hot tub the 
activities turned... um... weird.

"I'm not gonna do it..."
"Pussy..."
"What did you call me?"
"You heard me..."

That's how it started... The Great Belly-Flop Competition Of 1999...

I remember at one point there were even people up on one of the balconies 
outside the resturant or lobby watching us, shaking their heads and laughing 
harder than we were... 

Picture, if you will: 

White flesh untouched by sunlight for at least the last six months (except 
Beau who had been in Jamaica) slapping down 
HARD and LOUD on the surface of the water... the flesh emerging slightly 
pink, or in the case of contest winner Corsolini, bright red and 
painful-looking... a loud "OOOWWwwwww!!!!!" unable to be contained by viewer 
or contestant...

Beau came in second, Scott and I tied for third... and I only lost out to 
Scott because of his daring "Hands-Tucked" position attempt that might have 
yielded a "Winning Flop" had his head not broken the plane of water first, 
there-by reducing the final belly-to-water impact value...

After soaking in the 'tub until the meat was falling off our bones, we 
collected ourselves and went in search of a Good Meal. The Good Meal is a 
rare thing on the road... The Good Meal means not being asked if you "want an 
apple pie with that"... The Good Meal means a little slice of Heaven. It 
reminds you you're an adult with a few shekels in your pocket, plain and 
simple.

We went through a few fine dining listings but never really came up with too 
much for prospects which could handle a reservation for fifteen before 
showtime... however, we were resolute in this... The Good Meal would be had. 
There were a few decent places around Vail, so after that afternoon's 
arranged rehearsal we figured we'd just stumble on something in the town of 
Vail... 

We went to Garton's and the band ran through the evening's encore several 
times. I don't like to watch the band work on fresh material because it 
upsets me when my folks fight, know what I mean? So I sat on the front steps 
and talked to various folks who were showing up to get their advance 
tickets... not a few coming out of the club talking excitedly about "the band 
working on 'Rain', dude!!! 'RAIN'!!!" I tried to deflect direct questions by 
responding that it might be for another show on the tour... but I think they 
saw right through me... I was excited about it too and I guess I wasn't 
holding my poker-face too well...

When all the shouting and threats against family and descendants... I mean 
'rehearsal'... was over, Scott, Beau, Ahmer and myself went in search of The 
Good Meal. As we walked, Scott got recognized by a fan...

"Where do I know you from, dude?" he asked as we kept walking... Scott let it 
go and answered "I don't know"... before the guy figured it out... "Dark 
Star!!! THAT'S IT!!! You guys ROCKED last night!!!"

"Thanks alot!" Scott waved, and we were off again as this kid slapped his 
friends' hands and yammered loudly about the previous night's show... I 
figured this would start to happen... John gets it from time to time but this 
was the first "Scott Sighting" I had seen... I was pleased with it.

We wound up at this place a short walk from Garton's and looking over the 
menu Scott determined it had The Good Meal "plus any garbage Cameron might 
want to eat"... I gave a faux-dejected look and he put me in a headlock, gave 
me a noogy like I was his little brother, and went inside... Beau did the 
same thing to me...

... although I could have dealt without the white-washing in the snow and the 
wet-leaves-down-my-pants part of it...

We were seated in seconds and our waiter came around to take drink orders and 
since Scott was ordering wine I decided to break my "tradition" of not 
drinking before a show and have a small glass of wine... 

... well, it's not so much a tradition as a "Condition of Employment"... 
still...

The waiter was gone for a few minutes and suddenly there was a guy dressed 
like an orderly from "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" standing at the head 
of our table...

"Hey guys... I'm your chef for the evening, my name's Jack... folks call me 
'Jersey Jack'... I was at the show last night and I just gotta say it was 
unreal and I want to set you guys up with a few appetizers on me..." and went 
on to give us the in-depth-play-by-play on all the appetizers the place 
served as well as reviewing the entire menu and making suggestions for both 
food and drink... we were beside ourselves!!! When Jack left the table we all 
just sort of looked at each other and wiggled our eyebrows... I believe I 
remember saying "This is so COOL" or something else totally obvious like 
that... and when the waiter brought all the appetizers (and I mean ALL, we 
got everything on the menu) we arrived in that little slice of Heaven I 
discussed earlier...

Coconut Shrimp, Fresh Tuna, Veggies, Artichoke, Squid... I don't even 
remember all of it... Jack came out to explain what we were eating and 
drinking and another waiter came by to thank us for the show as well, at 
which point I had to ask out-loud "Was EVERYONE in Vail at the show last 
night?"

All this attention by the staff had garnered us the attention of everyone in 
the place... all the tables of people around us looking, pointing, and 
whispering... trying to figure out who we were and if we were someone THEY 
should be paying attention to as well... I was extremely amused...

We set Jack up with free tickets to that night's show (along with about 
twelve of his friends... after all he HAD really set US up) and thanked 
everyone for a great dining experience, hitting the sidewalk for a good walk 
to keep from falling into a blissful food-coma...

FUNNY T-SHIRT SEEN IN A WINDOW IN VAIL:

Bill and Hilary, Bill's t-shirt says "I'm here about the ("Blow" written in) 
Job" and Hilary's says "I'm With Stupid"...

That night's show was 12/12/92, Oakland Coliseum... tricky, huh?

I like to jab at the band for this from time to time but seriously, one of 
the reasons for doing several dates from the same year in a row is that it's 
easier to maintain musical character, in order to emulate the style of each 
player in the given year... and this particular night was true to the mark... 
right down to the "Darkstar"... but I get ahead of myself...

the first set is sort of short, opening with "Jack Straw" which built to an 
explosive conclusion before truly heating up the Bounce Factor with 
"Bertha", which brought a huge cheer from the crowd... "Friend of the Devil" 
has become a rare tune these days, but it sounded great that night, followed 
by a song which is sort of a joke in the band because I hate it... 
"Desolation Row". In fact, Scott went so far as to announce that "this next 
song is a soundman's choice"... 

I don't know if he saw me flipping the bird over the Sold Out crowd (number 
five for those of you keeping track, the sold out show not the bird)... but I 
think he knew I was doing it...

"Birdsong" finished up the set, and it was an odd one to round out the set 
then as now... achieving outer-atmosphere just long enough to make you want 
to stay there but yanking you back to earth for a bathroom break, soft 
pretzel, and a beer... and speaking of the bathroom break...

The second set opened with "Picasso Moon", a song I always used as a bathroom 
break or whatever when the Dead played it, buuuuut... I have gained new 
appreciation for the song through the DSO but I'm still not totally 
converted... this particular one was greeted with a cheer by the crowd... an 
always-welcome-by-the-engineer "Crazy Fingers" soaked the place with soft 
reggae leanings, and a solid "Women Smarter" led into "Darkstar"... 

At home, the rare hearing of "Darkstar" would have brought a riot, but the 
house seemed to react with veritable indifference... and I guess rightly so 
the way the band played it... it was a "first verse only" version to top it 
off, but Hazdra blew the change, and it just seemed half-hearted to me, 
falling into a bunch of dissonant noise rather quickly, Scott the largest 
contributor to said noise (I'll probably get fired for this little review, 
but I have a duty to my readers, right?) before "Drums>Space"...

OK, so the "Darkstar" didn't go the way I had hoped... there's still "Rain"...

Looking back on this show, I sort of wished we had done it in Boulder or Ft. 
Collins... I'll explain...

The second set carried on with a jam out of "Space" which quickly became 
"Miracle"... I had hoped for more out of the "Jam" as well, seeing as how the 
"Darkstar" was missing the fire I had hoped for... but instead it was all 
Mike, trying to keep the microphone on his lips as the stage and floor 
bounced, and the whole room singing louder than he was on the chorus... the 
song finally wound down into "Standing On The Moon", which got the cheer I 
had expected for "Darkstar"...

John's mournful delivery of the lyrics combined with Mike's ghostly guitar 
work and Scott's layered keys brought a lump to my throat, and it was the 
highlight of the night for me. Period.

Maraat lifted the room with "Saturday Night" before the band went into the 
huddle and came back to perform the real encore of that show, "Rain"... and 
I'll explain why I wish it had happened on a bigger stage...

Maraat's guitar was out-of-bounds-too-fucking-loud... and it ruined it... for 
me, anyway... but I'm hyper-critical of the sound at a show and I know it.

Aren't you glad I give a shit?

The elective that night was also picked long before showtime... "Around N' 
Round"... "Let's just see HOW MUCH this room can bounce, shall we???"

Maraat was jumping into the air and landing hard, Hazdra was looking audience 
members in the eye and daring them to bounce harder with his own pogoing... I 
believe John was even getting in on the act, grinning at the dangerously 
swinging mic in front of him and dodging it like a sparring boxer... it was 
great to see them having such unadulterated fun on the stage, forgetting all 
the details they strive so much to embody from night to night, just rockin' 
and laughin'...

We packed up after talking to a few stragglers and made a hasty trip to the 
condo, broke hippie friends in tow for their place in front of the fire, but 
not before Scott backed up into the "Strapped-Ford" and broke the headlights 
on one side...

"It's OK," Rick shouted out his window "This thing is beat anyway..."

The answer to the WORD PROBLEM is, of course, 42. If you answered correctly 
add an additional three points to your "Can Keep Solid Food Down" Score...

COMING SOON: "Welcome To State Bridge!", My Nightmares Past And Future, Biker 
Fights And Other Family Fun, Creative Driving Tips, Mike And Bobbi To The 
Rescue, "The President prob'ly Pooped Here", and Two Nights, Too Short A 
Stay... C'mon back now, y'hear???