This time out we had a CREW with us. Jen (aka Limpy) shows up at my place
around 11:15a friday and watches the Blietz Packing Machine in action... the
usual list of stuff, but this time stuff I had gone out the night before and
actually WASHED (*Insert large gasp from the obviously "canned" audience
HERE*)! Yep, I sat down to watch a bit o' TV and fell asleep though, so I had
to ROCKET down to my favorite scrubbin' rock and got in juuuuuusst under the
cut-off, and I KNEW the attendant was pissed... but I like the place because
they don't mind if I swig a nice bottle of Bass as I wait for my wash... but
here's the thing: I didn't drink a damned thing before I went and I STILL
managed to mess up - I washed my socks with a new 'dye...
Did I tell you I'm a big dumb animal?
All together now, good hippie people... "NEVER WASH A NEW 'DYE WITH
ANYTHING!!!"
... needless to say I looked like an absent-minded wine stomper all weekend...
thank the weather for turning cooler and long pants, nobody noticed...
So I get all my gear together and Scott informs me that he's sending Beau and
Rob (aka Bhodi) to collect us. Jen is plugged in to the Playstation (she's
addicted to WipeOut XL, a race game) and we are finally able to leave once Ms.
Andretti has finished 1st... we get to Scott's where Karen (our equipment
vehicle operator) is waiting to load The Furniture (Scott's B3 organ) and from
there to Mike Maraat's to collect the rest...
I ALMOST FORGOT... that's when Bill Clinton drove by...
...no, I did not inhale...
...the UFO happened (See Ames IO 'Rash), and so did this... as we were headed
out towards the airport, we noticed that traffic in-bound had tapered off to
nada... literally nothing... and then we noticed that the entrance ramps were
all blocked by Chicago squad cars... Scott was wondering aloud "Just what the
%!#@ was going on..." when it hit me that this is what they do when You Know
Who...
(... oh, I'll just say it... it was that wacky prop-comic Carrot Top...)
... comes to town... sure enough we see a HUUUGGE motorcade with motorcycles,
vans, police cars, sedans, more motorcycles and I'm pretty sure a limo
SOMEWHERE in the mix an' BOY it went whippin' by... yup good people Bill had
unwittingly just had his first sighting of the DSO... word is he's now a big
fan, and I falsely quote him as saying "What a long, strange media-fueled
witchhunt it's been"... So we got to Mike's and loaded the rest of the gear...
... all this and only about 40 minutes off schedule... by the way this
'schedule' word is going to figger prominently I think so get used to it...
"Runnin' On DSO Time", as they say...
Interestingly enough, one of the conversations we had on the way up to Madison
in Das Jeepster (Scott's plush fully equipped state-of-the-art touring
vessel... um... well, it's got a tape deck anyway) was THE BUS...
"First there was 'Terminator', then 'T2: Judgement Day'..."
"Now For the first time on the big screen, James Cameron brings to life a true
story of twenty-five people SO STUPENDOUSLY TRAGIC as to shame his epic
'Titanic' and gross significantly less at the box-office..."
"...'THE BARRYMORE BUS'... starring Brad Pitt as the daring-yet-stoned Patrick
Russell... Jeff Daniels as the stoned-yet-still-daring Jeff Foege, ... etc.
etc. ..."
(Note To Self and The Rest Of You: Club Member Laurie (sp?) is to be commended
on her efforts aboard THE BUS, buy her a beer or a pack of her preferred
Smokey-Treats next time you see her.)
See, we had you good people on the mind when Jen stepped up with the
information that the bus wasn't... and here's this word again, folks...
"scheduled"... to leave Chicago until 6pm... now you don't need one of them
fancy degrees from Harvard to figure out that a bus ain't gonna make Madison
in time for an 8PM SHOW leavin' Chicago at 6p, no-how... not hip deep in
Friday traffic... so we're a bit worried... Scott even specifically picked a
show with "The Other One" in it as a sort of BUS tie-in... "The Bus Came By
And I Got On That's When It All Began" indeed...
We get to the Barrymore Theater and pull around back to load in... this is one
of those easy load-ins that goes flawlessly and we start getting set up. Al
the house tech greets us warmly and owner-operator Steve oversees everything
to his satisfaction AND ours (which is, of course, how proper artist handling
is done, y'all) and after monitors are somewhat squared we get a quick
soundcheck.
You gotta see this place folks. It's a beautifully restored theater with what
looked to be rather new movie theater style seats, nice paint job, and the
King-Hell touch to ANY theater in my opinion - simulated "stars" (twinkling
lights) in the ceiling like at the Music Box here in Chicago... but as is the
case with alot of these places, the slap (echo) is awful and loooong to decay
so I have to work at the mix (and we all know how Uncle Cameron hates THAT,
don't we kids?) MMMmmm, something sounds funny with the horns (which provide
high frequencies) and I'm not totally satisfied, but that's nothing new... and
we open the doors... 8p and STILL no bus, not that we're expecting it given
"the schedule"...
The band goes on at 8:30p (yep no bus) and kicks things off with a rousing
"Bucket" and I start the task of making sense of things (see "Acoustics: STILL
My Problem, Not Yours" due out on interactive CD-ROM soon) with PA speakers
that would have been better suited to an early '70s show performance-wise...
to quote Club Member Debbie in reference to all things ancient, these speakers
"Farted Dust"... by the 2nd or 3rd tune I'm making the mix begin to sit up and
do other tricks and by the end of the first set I'm chanting "I think I can, I
think I can..." to myself...
Set break is light downstairs, and everyone seems to be in a good mood when
news finally arrives that THE BUS has pulled in... and before the start of the
second set I am bombarded at the board by nervous hugs and tales from our
fearless riders who are as of now only PARTIALLY convinced they're going to
die... hmmmm... as I hear-tell postumously, they hadn't seen NOTHIN' yet...
"China>Rider" was the opener for the second set and the PA decided to rebut my
mantra with a sudden "The Hell You Can" in the form of the right stack's horn
giving up the ghost... in other words "Farting Dust" turned to plain-old
"Crapped Out"... what this essentially means is that suddenly half the room
is without any vocal clarity or significant instrumental definition
WHATSOEVER... and I for one am torn to bits... this is the first piece of
audio gear I have broken in forever... longer than Seinfeld's No-Puking
Streak... and Al goes to the stage to investigate the amp situation... we end
up angling the left horn more into the room for coverage and the PA (but not
the band, I might add) limps (no offense, Nej) the rest of the way through the
set including a long elective encore "Sailor>Saint" to close out the show for
the victims of THE BUS...
Upon further investigation, Al told me that he was having problems with the
horns for awhile now and that "the guy was SUPPOSED to have come look at it"
that day but alas... so in retrospect my streak still stands... I may be a big
dumb animal but I'm not incompetent... we have also been assured that next
time there will be a more up-to-date PA and monitor rig brought in for us,
damn the torpedoes... so I highly advise everyone to come out to the Barrymore
Theater next time... just DRIVE YOURSELF THERE... from what I hear, it's the
ONLY way to fly...
We loaded out the same way we came in, only this time the equipment didn't all
fit the same way it had in the van so Rob generously offered to drive his car
to Cinci with us carrying my effects rack and the mechandising tub, etc...
glutton for punishment that he is... we scarf down the better part of three
pizzas Steve obtained for us (more on the pizza thing later - TRUST ME) and we
formulate our travel plans... we are now officially thirteen strong and four
vehicles long and headed for Bogart's in Cincinnati...
How did they put it in The Blues Brothers? Roughly paraphrased...
"It's One Thirty in the morning, we have a belly full of pizza, two bottles of
water, and everyone's out of cigarettes... "
"...HIT IT..."
COMING SOON: So Many Roads, "This Coffee Sucks", The Truth About Ephedrine,
Jen's Whirlwind Promotion, John's Mom, Beer And The Empty Pool, Vending
Machine Blues, AND MORE!!!